Adem

This guy. He's a walker. Not like, The Walking Dead or any other Zombie movie or show. He just walks. Like, everywhere - because fuck cars, bicycles, skateboards, pogo sticks, Jogo Stiks and all other modes of transportation. That shit is for the weak and the elderly. Adem is neither of those things. Why not? Because Adem. That's why.

But guess what motherfucker, that's not all. Adem can cook. He can literally kick Betty Crocker and Chef Boyardee right in the dangliy bits. No Tortillas? Give him 10 minutes! No such thing as Blue-Cran-Ras-Apple-Almond Pancakes at the IHOP? Fucking get 'em "Micky Mouse style" at Adem's house. This man will make some lucky person really happy, and really REALLY fat someday. But until then, he's here to keep up the high male-to-female ratio in our group of friends and be an all around asset to us all.

Biography
Someone write this shit.

Traits
Cooks.

Travels by foot or by boat.

Already knows about "that".

Likes
Food

Fruity Drinks

Legending The Leagues

Grinning silently

Piracy

Dislikes
Sandels with Socks

The Truth-Bringer

Agatha

Catchphrases
"Fuckery."

"No, it's K."

"Hmm..."